Shopping, mexican, ice cream and friends
2:15pm Wake up. Slept in not wanting to be awake cause of the night before (also went to bed at 6:30am)
2:30pm Angie texts me wanting to hang out
2:40pm Angie shows up and we sit around talking a bit. Decide we want Starbucks and leave.
3:00pm have Starbucks chatting about the night before and all the drama that happened.
3:10pm Decided to go to go get Michael to go shopping with us at the Avenues Mall.
Texting Baron’s best friend Kale:
“Michael says hes hanging out with you later. Did you know Baron gets really stressed sometimes because he thinks his best friends like you better?
“Yea were going shopping. Angie is joining us. I’m sorry he gets stressed….It’s not like im doing it purposely!”
“It’s just stressing him out, like last night, it seemed like they didnt give a fuck about him”
“Well the thing is they do. They just wanted a friend over I was free to hang so I came over. The truth is, Baron and Nicole could have hung out with him but they decided to be alone in his room. They could have ALL hung out and then I wouldn’t have come over…Am I just not allowed to be friends with them?”
“They were talking about stuff he cant talk to them about because its about them. Basically what im saying to you now. You do what you want, im just giving you info.”
We show up to get Michael chatting and laughing. Baron is home. He apparently wants to go but….I knew Angie wanted to talk to Michael about what was going on with Baron so I had to say no to Baron going.
It made me feel like shit.
Talking with Kael again because he’s with Baron:
“He wants to go…”
“I know he does. I want him to. But…”
“I miss hanging out with him. I really do. I miss him a lot. But the thing is I know Angie wants to talk to Michael about all this so its like how Baron was last night with Nicole. You cant talk about the person in front of the person!”
“He just wanted you to be honest with him.” (Baron had called me)
“Well…I didn’t want to say it out loud…”
“THATS what he wanted you to tell him. He coulda guessed”
“Well I’d love for him to join us but I cant control other people. They would talk about it regardless, it would just be while were shopping they’d fall behind or walk ahead and then Baron might over hear and that’d cause drama”
“Well honestly you can control it. But he isnt mad. He’s just really stressed about everything right now”
“I cant. I cant control others. I just don’t want him being mad at me for something I can’t control. I just hate feeling like he’s mad at me.”
“He was mad that you wouldnt just tell him”
“Like I said. I didn’t want to say it aloud because I would have gotten an earful about saying it aloud!”
“i guess so. Hes not mad anymore he just feels sad when he cant for those reasons”
“Well fuck. I tried to avoid hurting anyone. But it seems like no matter what I do I just fucked up.”
“No its okay really lauren. Just be happy.”
During all this texting we were driving to the mall and wondering just a tiny bit. The three of us made our way through Hot Topic and Spenser’s by the time Kale spoke to me again. During that time the three of us laughed and joked about everything. Keeping our minds off any drama in anyone’s life.
Kale and I:
“Want some maybe good news?”
“This is just my opinion, but i think baron will eventually realize youre all he’s got. Even if he doesnt like you now.”
“That’s great. But how long is that going to take?”
“Im not saying its for certain, just an opinion. “
“I know. I just hope he comes to his senses soon.”
“Yea me too, i miss you.” (We cant hang out much sadly cause of all the crap going on.)
“I miss you too. I just hope it changes soon..”
“I know. But we cant control him. I mean if things were going to be the same, id say there is no way, but i know you’ve changed.”
From there we talked about how I changed as Angie, Michael and I wondered around more laughing at just about everything. We found our way downstairs to these massage chairs and played on them for a good hour or so. The day continued in laughter and silliness.
It was around 10pm when Angie left. Michael and I decided to go to Baron’s house. So we are hanging out at Baron’s. Michael, Matt, Baron and I. I poke fun at Baron calling him a loser because he didnt hang with us at first he played on his computer. Well after that he came and joined us.
The night was spent laughing at stupid shit. Once or twice I noticed Baron following me from room to room but I said nothing. He wanted to show me the present he got from Kael and after seeing it he gave me a nice, long hug. I went in his room after while and noticed he still had the old pictures of me up, the writing in chalk was still up…I saw our old dart/tack board sitting in Baron’s open closet.
Continuing with the random stuff Baron would play around with me a bit. I fell asleep on the sofa for a while. I know…before I fell asleep I could have sworn I felt someone staring at me. Either way I woke up with a blanket on top of me. I think Michael did it but i’m not positive.
When I was leaving Baron pulled me into a hug. It was one of those long, tight, hugs. He held me, lighty rubbing my back with his thumb as he squeezed me tight. I felt his head in my shoulder and hair. We stayed like that for a time then I was saying goodbye to the kitties. Right before I actually walked out he gave me another hug, not as long, but a tight hug. And he told me to “be safe” which he hasn’t said in a while.
Part of me wonders if talking to Nicole helped him. Because I just go this sort of happy/clingy/something feeling from him all day.
So here I am now at 6:05 am finishing this up, my eyes are getting heavy an falling quickly. I guess im gonna queue and what not…Time to pass out.