Mommy left daddy a message on the mirror this morning. They have been married for 26 years today! :D I walked into the bathroom after doing chores and just giggled I had to take a picture! Happy Anniversary~!!!

XD For some reason I like this picture. It makes me chuckle.

Today was AMAZING

So I went to my Screenwriting for Beginners! It was AMAZING. Holy Crap!

We talked about Common mistakes in screenwriting, how to set up a script, the format, the basics, action verbs that readers like, how to write characters people can connect to.

But you want to know the BEST thing?

I met this guy named Warren and he runs Tiger Lily Media. He offered to meet me sometime this week about an internship! :D (He also told be about how sometimes when they do specific work they will even pay their interns up to $175!!!!

We only go to talk for a few minutes as we packed everything up. From the sound of it though I’d be helping in anything/everything just to learn about it all. I would be working anywhere from lighting, sound, tech/grunt work to writing and post-production, editing.

I’m SO EXCITED. I really hope Warren calls me sometime soon so we can set this all up.

From smiles to tears to confusion and being okay.

Literally my emotions summed up in a sentence.

Today started off with hanging out with my friend Sarah! :D We went to go see Black Swan. HOLY CRAP AMAZINNNNNNNGGGGGGG~!!!! Want to see it again. After seeing Black Swan we went to Hooters.

Laughing at the guys hitting on the waitresses we ate and chatted. Before we knew it we decided to go see another movie. So after Hooters we skipped back off to Tinsletown and went to go see Narnia! :D (Also amazing~!)

Once we were done with our movies I came home and relaxed a bit. Before I knew it….Michael and Matt wanted me to come over. I was very reluctant because of Baron.

He’s been chatting with me all day. It started out with him asking about school and when we go back around noon. He called me at 4:20 then again three minutes later. (I was in a movie)

He texted me asking me to go to Toco Bell with him. I didn’t reply till around 5:15 saying we were in a movie sorry. He complains about not having ice cream (they wanted me to bring over ice cream) We talk about when I’ll bring over the ice cream. This is when I’m at Hooters with Sarah. I decided at that point I wasn’t going to bring the ice cream over. I’d bring it over tomorrow.

Its now almost 8 and he texts me saying “We should hang out soon” I’m in the movie seeing Narnia at this point. So of COURSE I don’t reply. About 45 minutes later he sends me a :( because I didn’t reply. I tell him sorry I was in a movie and get no reply.

So its now 11 something when I’m home and Matt and Michael want me to  come over. They tell me Baron’s asleep and its okay to come over. So I do. Well I notice his lights on in his room. I say nothing about it and just go hang with Matt and Michael in the other room when…low and behold Baron walks out.

He chats with us a tiny bit and gives me a hug. He went to do something and I wanted Maggie the kitty. SO I ask if maggie is in his room and he says “Dunno. You can check.” Well so I skip back there to see….

A girl.
In his bed.
Under the covers. (Luckily dressed)

I stay polite and just smile asking if Maggie is in the room. She says no and I realize its a semi mutual friend Nicole. We chat a bit and she asks why I seem mad suddenly and I sorta half ass explain that I want to get back together with Baron and what not. She nods a bit in understanding and we change the subject. Well Matt comes in to get me so we can go on a walk.

So out on our walk Matt and Michael are trying to keep my mind off what just happened and they tell me they didn’t know. At one point I start crying because I just think the worst and I couldn’t hold it back any longer. I was so upset. The boys hug me trying to keep me calm and tell me it’ll be okay.

They start making fun of Baron and saying how he’s like in “middle school” he’s not mature anymore that he’s being an idiot. How they would both go after me if they weren’t such good friends with Baron. (Michael more than Matt, Matt more hinted that he’d go after me now anyways) They just acted goofy and kept me happy.

Well so we finally decide to go back to Baron’s place. I’m sorta calm at this point and decided the BEST way to fuck with Baron’s head would be to act like nothing is wrong and just hang out there like nothings up.

So were hanging out a bit just chatting chilling and Baron walks out after a few moments. He stands there staring at the three of us. I’m sitting next to Michael, leaning on him as he’s surfing the web, my feet are stretched out touching Matt on the other couch. (he had just been massaging my feet) Baron says nothing, we say nothing but I smile at him. Well he walks away and goes back to his room.

Baron sends me a text saying “Do we just not talk anymore?” I ask him “What do you want me to say?” “Just fucking forget it”I get as a reply. Well I take a moment then go back there telling him I want to talk. So were standing in the hallway. In a very calm, even tone I speak to him. I ask him what he’s talking about.
“I just came in there and you ignored me!”
“Well, Baron I didn’t have anything to say. You have to see how this is for me…can you see how I’d be upset?” He pauses the nods. “So you can understand how I didn’t want to talk….” he nods again.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You just have to see how that upsets me. I mean…I come over to find a girl in your room….what do you think I’m gonna do?”
“We were just talking about everything….”
“That’s fine and all but you have to understand I didn’t know that till just now. So of course I was mad.”
“Yea….” There is silence for a moment and were just looking at each other. I can feel the tension. But it felt like a mixture of different tensions. So he said something else, something about going back in the room I don’t know. 

I go back to keep my mind distracted with my friends. At one point Baron texts me asking me a question about our friends dog. Then tells me to come to his bedroom. So I skip back there and answer the question. Nicole and I chat a little bit.

I go back to my friends. Keep in mind how hard this is to just up and leave when they are in the same room…..

So some time later Baron comes out and is putting things up in the kitchen. Angrily. I notice this, Matt and Michael do too. Well Matt goes in the back to talk to Nicole. A little later so do I.

So were chatting about random things laughing being silly and Matt leaves. Me and Nicole are chatting a bit and she smiles at me a bit. I suddenly notice he still has this tac board with all our old pictures on it in his closet.

Nicole asks me why I suddenly seemed sad. So we start talking about Baron and whats going on. She tells me she had to force information out of him about it. That she doesn’t like him or any guy at all right now. She tells me that he’s REALLY confused, that she told him I pretty much gave up which is why I don’t text him (partly true..), that she thinks its cute he still has certain pictures of me out and the writing on the wall.

She tells me he thinks about me.

I ask her how and she says she did something silly stupid and he said “That reminds me of Lauren…..” Which made Nicole think WELL GET BACK WITH HER IDIOT! She sees how he’s acting just like we do.

She asks me if I know how he thinks of himself. I tell her I used to not anymore. She continues to tell me that he sees himself as worthless. This confuses me. Confused her too.

So we keep chatting about things and Baron just walks in and bumps into me then sits down and asks “Do I need to leave the room?” In a sort of angry tone still. We say no and change subjects to something else.

After while I got up and left and went back to the boys. Then I had to leave and go home.

Baron’s texting me now.
“Would you like to talk about anything?” I assume Nicole is talking to him about how he doesn’t like talking to me about anything.
“If we talk I’d rather it be in person. Is there something you want to talk about?”
“I dunno.” a few moments later “Just dont  worry about it.”
“What?? what are you talking about?”
“Its okay, just forget i said anything”
“Why?”
“It doesnt matter.”
“Yes it does. Please talk to me about this.”
“I dont really want to anymore”
“Then why bring it up? Now I want to”
“Its to much to talk about this late. Maybe we will talk tomorrow”
“Okay….”
“Im sorry i brought it up”


I haven’t replied yet because I started writing this. I’m sitting her at 5:22 am confused, hurt and utterly lost.  I’m not SO hurt anymore because Nicole and I are sorta friends and she seems to want me to be happy. She’s been in the same situation and she knows how much it sucks to be “dragged through the mud” as she put it.

I just…..I’m curious on why he wants to talk now, what the talk will be about…Just how things are changing. I’m so terrified.

I just…..any of my followers….Please. If you have any advice, please. I’d love to hear it. Any opinions anything. If you pray, wish, whatever…please pray that this gets sorted out soon…pray that Baron and I can be happy…..together. 

You have no idea…how much that would mean to me….


I just want to add….I love you all so much, even if you don’t read this or don’t care. I want you to know I’m here for you no matter what, if you need to vent, need someone to talk to, advice anything. Do NOT be scared to message me, IM me anything.  My AIM is Kiara Kub and you can even skype me at Lauren Love.

I just want you all to know that I am here for you no matter what!